Life Lessons in Dating: Intro

My friends and I have been talking about this crazy idea for a while now but I never acted on it because I was so busy.  Now seems like a good time to introduce it to you all…

About two years ago, I fell pretty hard for this guy I met when I was out in Boston one night.  I was there for a good time with my friends, he was there for a bachelor party.  It was a booze cruise in the harbor and I didn’t find him attractive at all.  He was not fit.  Not FAT, but not fit.  He was a bro, wearing a baby blue tank top and he was near me during the part of “SHOUT!” where it gets a little bit softer now and everyone dances down low.  I was a mess and fell on him, then sang the national anthem (that’s the signature last song), my drunken voice cracking all over the place.  He was trying really hard to make eye contact with me and I tried even harder to avoid it and when the music stopped he asked me out.  He told me his name, which I thought made him even less attractive… Taylor… like the girl’s name.  We exchanged numbers and he wanted me to follow him and his friends around Boston right then and there.  Thank GOD my best friend was too drunk to function and I had to take her home.

He continued texting me over the next few days, I ignored him for a lot of that time, and then my friends convinced me to go out with him.  “It’s good people skills practice.”

So I went.  He picked me up from North Station and drove me to this really upscale restaurant in the North End, where TOM AND GISELLE were spotted only a week later.  We talked about everything over wine and ridiculously priced Italian food and his eyes were so perfectly blue/green and sparkly.  We went out for even more drinks after dinner.  He drove me to my car at the train station, where I couldn’t decide if I should kiss him or not, so I got out and left.

It wasn’t the most original date but it was my first REAL date, where a guy put effort in and made an actual reservation and put on an actual shirt for it… I was enchanted.

He texted me in bed that night saying “I regret not kissing you.”  DONE.  FUCKING.  DEAL.  I was hooked.

We continued talking all summer, meeting up a few more times, he invited me to his friend’s wedding which wasn’t until the Fall and I was so excited!

Then he stopped talking to me.

I texted him and gave it a week… nothing.  I texted him again, waited two weeks… nothing.  FINALLY after about a month, I asked him if he was just freaking out because he drunkenly asked me to go to a wedding and he didn’t mean it.  And then he told me he and his ex had gotten back together.

My face went numb.  I don’t know what that physiological response means in a scientific way, but I know I was crushed.  And mortified at the same time.  He used me.

I wanted revenge and I had all the best plans.  I could text him and tell him “Oops I have Herpes, go get checked!” timed perfectly after the wedding so he’d have to tell his girlfriend what a douche bag he was.  I had backup plans but I can’t remember them now, and it doesn’t matter.

I decided that I would not be crazy in this situation, I wanted to be the dignified one.  So instead of pulling a silly prank, I signed up for an online dating app and resolved to go on a date with a different guy EVERY DAY.  And I was pretty close to achieving that goal: during my first month, I averaged 4 dates a week.  Using strange men for free dinner and alcohol.  Revenge against the entire male community… was mine.

In summary, a guy broke my heart so I became a restlessly cold-hearted girl who used men for their wallets (I was secretly looking for a Taylor clone but don’t tell him that).  It was exhausting and definitely discouraging, but I found that my friends were right.  Dating is VERY good “people skills practice”.  And it’s also pretty hilarious to think about all the crazy situations I put myself in.  I learned a lot about myself and people in general and now I want to share that with you.

For now, I’ll keep it to my own personal adventures but if my friends or readers want to share some stories as well… I’m open to all sorts of ideas!

And boys, take notes please.

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